Thursday, July 28, 2011

Oh, du Maurier, why hast thou forsaken me?

I know I shouldn't smoke but I do.  Recently and unfortunately, my brand has undergone a makeover and I don't like it one bit.
You see, my smokes used to come in a red pack, which I loved.  It was classic and elegant and had clean lines and all those other wonderful things that we want in an object that you spend the rest of your life with.
 To be fair, I should mention that they have kept the sturdy, flip-top lid that holds its shape much better than other brand's packs.
Anyway, my smokes no longer come in a red pack.  They're now metallic blue with a red blob in the center that tells me "Your du MAURIER Distinct taste has not changed."  Well, that's fanfuckingtastic but it is the least of my concerns.
The blue is horrible, and the red blob does not work at all with it.  A while ago, du Maurier put out some other brand of smokes that were more expensive and they were the same blue.  But they didn't have the red blob and it was nicer.
 There used to be a lady who ran the store next door and she would give me packs of these blue smokes and it was cool, because who doesn't like free smokes, but I still preferred my classic red pack.  It's like the blue ones were fancy smokes; you're wearing a pretty dress so so does your smokes, not a look I wanted my smokes to wear every day.
But this new pack isn't even fancy or elegant, it's a mess if you ask me.  It's garish and trendy and not at all like the iconic red pack of my not-so distant past. 
Thankfully, I haven't had any particularly ugly Health Canada warnings on them yet, I hate to see how ugly my smokes will look with the teeth on them now.
The first pack I had (this is now my third) was like a stab in the heart once the person at the store assured me that the ugly smokes in her hand were indeed the ones I wanted.  I couldn't believe it.  I was quited troubled and lamented for a great deal of time; sharing my woes with anyone who would listen.
The next pack I got was an old one!  I was thrilled, even though I knew it meant they weren't as fresh.  I pledged to keep that pack and put new ones in it until it fell apart.
But I forgot.  So, now I've suffered through another pack, and have just started into another. 
The problem with this new design is not just aesthetic.  They are also highly impractical.
First, the blue metallic pack is much harder to find in the depths of a purse.  The red blob does not work like a beacon in the night like the old bright red pack used to.
Tonight I had wasted ten minutes looking for my smokes, and they were exactly where I thought they were when I first went looking.  I walked by them at least 700 times, I looked like I had OCD.  When I finally found them I was so angry!  What a waste of my precious time! 
For one thing, as you can perhaps tell, I'm still not totally adapted to the new colour yet.  So I was looking for a red pack.  But then, a red pack is so much more practical because it stands out so much better rather than the blue pack which blends in a little too well with my kitchen counter.
I mean, if my smokes were originally metallic blue and they changed the pack to red, I may not like it, but I wouldn't gloss right over a bright red pack like I did with the blue.
I think it's fair to say my cigarettes are causing me undue stress.  I know they don't care, and get the last laugh anyway since this still is likely not enough to help me kick the habit.  It really is driving me to smoke.  If tobacco companies are as evil as everyone says, then perhaps this was their plan all along.
Farewell, beautiful red smokes, you are truly missed.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

I Lost My Title and Don't Know Where to Find It

I was trying to make my blog title appear prettier and it disappeared and now I don't have one.