Everlasting, My Ass!

When I was a kid my favourite candy was Everlasting Gobstoppers.  Mmmm... so good, especially the purple ones.
I went to the store today to get my required supplies to pull the all-night essay writing session that's going down up in here.  So, I got my Salt & Vinegar chips, my Junior Mints, my Coca Cola, my cigarettes (yep, sorry, I need them when I write.  I'll quit again on Wednesday.) Brain food, ya know?  Then I noticed the Gobstopper box.  I haven't had them in years.  Yum, up on the counter they go too.  I seriously spent almost $25 at the corner store.  It was embarrassing.  Well, I did buy milk, too.  But I digress.
Look, when I was a kid a box of Gobstoppers would last me all day.  Or could last me all day, I'm sure I had my moments of childlike savagery. I'm a grownup now, and I have a tummy that doesn't agree with too much candy at once, so I thought the box would last me a day and a half.  And it should've, except they're bleeping tiny now!  You know, you used to have to suck them to get to the delicious candy centre - these little things I could bite right through!  And so could the boy, so don't give me any guff about the strength of a grownup jaw.  I felt really ripped off.  And there were only 2 purple ones in the whole box, and those are my favourites.  But man, they're still delicious.
On the box they're still labelled as "Jawbreakers."  Maybe Stuart Little's jaw, not mine.  I don't like misrepresentation .  I am so pissed off at Willy Wonka right now.